I’m not going to lie, I thought it was going to be simple, but this has proved to be much harder than I ever expected. From my previous posts, it is clear exactly how much the kids mean to me, and although I never got to writing about the birth of our son, Scarlett, and the adoption of our daughter, Rachel, there is so much left unsaid that I find my breaking heart internally screaming.
Without a doubt, this has been one Hell of an emotional rollercoaster. You can laugh at me all you want and say these kids are ‘just Zooby’s/dolls’ but unless you’re in my shoes, you will never truly understand the way that I feel about them.
Scarlett is my first-born in SL. She’s mine. I’m her father. No matter what anybody says, nothing changes the fact that she’s my daughter. Everything about her reminds me of how far I’d come in SL and that dreams do come true (as cheesy as that sounds).
I remember every moment that I ran to her mother’s side every time she needed me when wearing the Chunky Monkey Baby On Board Tummy Talker, giving her crackers when she felt nauseas, back massages when she became achey and tired, and vitamins and water every day. I relished the fact that I was involved and I truly felt like a father even before Scarlett was born. I felt a part of something much more important that may never be possible for me in RL, regardless of how loyal and devoted I am, or however much money I have in my pocket for IVF treatment. Too many people take the prospect of having children for granted.
The entire situation has taught me very well that it will take a very understanding person to accept that kids in SL, whether they be prim babies or adopted Toddleedoos, for someone like me, mean the world.
“Sure you hear all these stories about how everyone plans these perfect families. But the truth is, most babies are products of drunken evenings and lack of birth control. They’re accidents. Only people who have trouble making babies actually plan for them.” – My Sister’s Keeper
I love the kids so much. Even though I didn’t play a part in making Elijah, I was still his Daddy and I’m so proud to have even played a part in his upbringing; changing him, feeding him, always being by his side. Even placed him in a cot next to the bed while I slept. My kids mean everything to me and it is this last day with my daughter that I find myself completely torn up. As much as Scarlett’s mother offered to let me keep her, I would find myself breaking a promise if I did. So today, she will be going back to her. I don’t care if it is just to her inventory. I’m a man of my word.
So, today, I have spent caring for my daughter Scarlett. In a blind panic, I ran all over SL trying to find somewhere to change her, wash her and let her sleep; I realised that her mother had all the necessary items to take care of her, but luckily I found somewhere and took the extra time just to see that I did what I could to make sure went back with full stats and a deluxe stage star.
Other than the Zooby’s, we adopted Rachel; Daddy’s little ‘Squidgy’, as I used to call her. I couldn’t believe the timing in which she came to us when we went to adopt and I was literally in a spin when everything just fell into place. She was the sweet little girl that I had spent my entire life dreaming of. Our trial together didn’t even complete when she changed her last name to Chapman to join our family. I loved the interaction and RP; reading bedtime stories, annoying you to brush your teeth and getting dressed. Dinner times and drawing were among some of the best times together, including our day out at Magic Land. I don’t know why this memory sticks out so much, but the day you fell out of the boat and started crying is something that I will never forget. I remember how strong the urge was to run to your side to comfort you and make sure you were okay. I’m still sorry for Daddy’s poor driving! Daddy will never be a Captain.
You are so incredibly special to me and I will always be here for you. Words can’t describe just what you have done for me. You gave me so much more than I ever expected as a father. I will miss your snuggles.
Although I am deeply saddened and heartbroken, I have got to do everything I can to move on. The kids were a major part of my life and I will always love them. Their father will always be here for them and I am proud to have been called ‘Daddy’.